Navigating Personal Struggles While Fighting for a Better Future

My Unwavering Commitment to City Council Amidst a Year of Loss and Challenge

It’s been a tough year. I mean really tough. 

It feels like every month since January has been a fight. A struggle- especially mentally.

I’ve been tested in nearly every possible way. And yet, here I am. 

I’m still standing. I’m still fighting. 

Petty, small people like Chris Cargill try to rattle me. They try to attack me. To bring me down. To put a dent in what I’m doing.

What he doesn’t realize is that I’ve been through some real shit this year and whatever he throws at me is inconsequential and will just roll off my back.

Unfortunately, for him I’m really in the mindset of having nothing to lose since I’ve already lost so much this year. 

For context, in January, I flew back to Indiana for the Bengals playoff game against the Ravens. I was really excited to be going to a playoff game. The minute I get there I’m greeted by my Mom who proceeds to tell me that she and my Dad are getting a divorce. 

As you can imagine, that put quite a damper on that weekend and the game. 

My Dad has always treated my Mom and me poorly, so I guess it shouldn’t have been a shock, but it was. I never expected that to happen. Especially not after 47 years of marriage.

That led to some difficult conversations with my Dad and eventually me blocking him on my phone and deciding to move on myself. 

It’s haunted me ever since. I have nightmares about my relationship with him and how it ended.

He turned 70 last week and it was hard. I’m sure for both of us.

I struggled mentally for a few months. I used to get up at 3:30am every morning and write, work on my podcasts, or do other creative endeavors that I enjoyed before the day began. It was my cherished time.

I stopped doing that. Eventually, I couldn’t get out of bed. I would wake up at my normal time. Get dressed. And then crawl back in bed because I didn’t want to face the world. Nothing seemed fun anymore.

That had never happened to me and this was a warning sign. I didn’t like it. I didn’t want to feel that way, yet I felt that I couldn’t control it. 

I went to my doctor to talk about possible depression. Which was confirmed. 

I start taking medication which supposedly takes months to kick in.

Then, a few weeks later I get a call from my Mom that my cousin, Brent, had suddenly died. He was 52. Only five years older than me. We grew up five miles from each other. He was the older brother that I never had.

That devastated me. I’m still struggling with that. 

A week after I filed to run for City Council I am flying to Indianapolis for a funeral that I never expected. In fact, because Brent was so healthy and active, Hell, I always thought he would be at my funeral. Whenever I pictured my funeral and who would be there, he was one of the people I envisioned there.. 

On top of that, my wife got laid off from her job the day she returned from maternity leave. I have my own consulting business so I am now the single financial support for our family. She has been applying to jobs and interviewing ever since and nothing. It’s extremely frustrating for both of us because of how smart and talented she is. 

I left the recruiting profession because I felt the way companies hire is broken. Seeing her go through the job seeking process has only further convinced me of that.

As for my business, I had a great end of the year last year which lead to February, March and April being my largest revenue months in the two years since focusing on my business full-time.

But I knew it wouldn’t last because my pipeline had tried up. Things were too quiet. 

And I was right.

I’m a marketing consultant, one that specifically helps people with their long-term strategies.

The economic conditions have caused layoffs and budget cuts to companies' marketing teams and they became only focused on the short-term. Which will hurt them more in the long run, but hey, that’s what happens when you work for investors and not your customers and employees. 

Regardless, it’s created a very difficult financial situation and has added to my stress.

Despite all of that, I still decided to run for city council because, like many of you, I was fed up.

My life might be crumbling down around me but it feels like the country is crumbling down as well, led by narcissists and religious extremists hell-bent on destroying our democracy. Empowered by a criminal, autocratic former President.

I decided to run because it’s not about me. It’s about my country and my kids’ future. 

What I care most about is education. I feel strongly that a lack of education around important topics such as civics and history (real history, not the white-washed history Mom 4 Liberty and other extremist groups want to push into our children’s curriculum) have failed. 

I see people with “We the People” stickers on their pickups and doubt that they’ve even read much of the Constitution beyond those three words. I highly doubt it.

It infuriates me and makes me sad at the same time. Especially, since education is the cornerstone of a functioning democracy. 

If you’ve read this far, thank you. I didn’t expect you to. I really just needed to write this morning because it’s cathartic and something I enjoy doing- but haven’t done much of lately. 

The bottom line is, my wife and I are going to continue to live our lives and do what we do. What my wife does is try to help people through her shared experience of pregnancy loss. She’s become very passionate about that as well as being a positive influence in our Liberty Lake community. 

She’s not going to stop doing what she does because I’m running for a city council position. I’m not going to stop what I’m doing because I’m running for a city council position.

My wife wrote the article for the Liberty Lake Neighbors publication because October was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month- dedicated by President Reagan who is rolling over in his grave at what his party has become. Same with Lincoln, Eisenhower and Teddy Roosevelt. 

Chris Cargill can attack us and try to politicize a publication for publishing something that happened to include me during an election season. But I. Don’t. Give. A. Shit.

By the way, I curse. I’m real and I never planned to be anything but who I am during this campaign. So any problems Cargill has had with that- I don’t give a shit about that either. 

He wants to focus on petty things and personal attacks. I plan to focus on big things like our civil rights and his corruption. 

Win or lose. I’m not going anywhere. I’m only getting stronger.